Sunday, October 4, 2009
Moving
Well, it's been almost half a year since I posted anything. A lot has changed. I've done a conference for a very large church. I've gotten a life insurance license and a banking and lending license, and am working on a securities license. I've gotten a new W-2 job and started a 1099 career. I've bought a house and am moving in by the end of the month. Crazy stuff considering how down in the dumps I was a year ago. Actually, I was quite hopeful this time last year, pursuing a woman I loved, but, that disintegrated in December, so it's been a year of changes. The changes are still coming! I'm looking forward to the next one. I'm moving out of the apartment today. Writing this post is one of the last things I'm doing. I'm moving in with the 'rents for about a month. I close on Oct. 26 at 1:00 p.m. Until then, I'm AFK.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Unemployment, So Far
Oh, to be unemployed! What a joy to not be obligated all day! What a feeling of restfulness to have no alarm set! What am I going to do about rent?
Yes, I'm newly unemployed. My former employer, the Business That Shall Not Be Named (BNSNBN), had to downsize thanks to economy, loss of "clients," and- well, let's just say economy. Being in a position that, while vital to my employer, actually has very low minimum qualifications needed as far as the "industry" is concerned, meaning I'm easily replaced with part-timers who won't get benefits, and the fact that I have a masters degree, I was the locigal choice to "let go" for economic reasons. The bank always wins.
I didn't really enjoy my job and I'm glad it's over. There were moments that felt like Office Space, but it's not funny when it's your office space. There were "patients running the asylum" moments. There were good times, too, but they mostly involved co-workers.
So, I'm looking for a job. I've been to two job fairs, made a lot of contacts that went nowhere (so far), and worked out a lot to relieve stress and have something to do.
I'm at a weird moment. I have nearly infinite possibilities. I am single, no girlfriend, no children, not even a pet. I can get a full time job that makes ends meet and then look for what I really want, if I can figure that out. I say "nearly" infinite because I have student debt, which ties me down somewhat. I can't just move to Third World Country X and wander the earth like Kane in Kung Fu. No Jack Kerouacing for me. Regardless, there are literally dozens of scenarios that have crossed my mind, from international missions, to church planting, to writing, to conference speaking, to military or hospital chaplaincy, to starting a Protestant monastery. Okay, that last one's not my idea, but there are a few here and there. I've even thought of going into something in film, like a critic or a director of major motion pictures.
Procrastination or production? It'll be interesting. Stay tuned.
Yes, I'm newly unemployed. My former employer, the Business That Shall Not Be Named (BNSNBN), had to downsize thanks to economy, loss of "clients," and- well, let's just say economy. Being in a position that, while vital to my employer, actually has very low minimum qualifications needed as far as the "industry" is concerned, meaning I'm easily replaced with part-timers who won't get benefits, and the fact that I have a masters degree, I was the locigal choice to "let go" for economic reasons. The bank always wins.
I didn't really enjoy my job and I'm glad it's over. There were moments that felt like Office Space, but it's not funny when it's your office space. There were "patients running the asylum" moments. There were good times, too, but they mostly involved co-workers.
So, I'm looking for a job. I've been to two job fairs, made a lot of contacts that went nowhere (so far), and worked out a lot to relieve stress and have something to do.
I'm at a weird moment. I have nearly infinite possibilities. I am single, no girlfriend, no children, not even a pet. I can get a full time job that makes ends meet and then look for what I really want, if I can figure that out. I say "nearly" infinite because I have student debt, which ties me down somewhat. I can't just move to Third World Country X and wander the earth like Kane in Kung Fu. No Jack Kerouacing for me. Regardless, there are literally dozens of scenarios that have crossed my mind, from international missions, to church planting, to writing, to conference speaking, to military or hospital chaplaincy, to starting a Protestant monastery. Okay, that last one's not my idea, but there are a few here and there. I've even thought of going into something in film, like a critic or a director of major motion pictures.
Procrastination or production? It'll be interesting. Stay tuned.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
And to Keep Oneself Unstained by the World
I used to teach creative writing to 8th grade students. Before writing short stories, I had the class read three classic examples of short stories in three different genres. We read "Soldier's Home" by Ernest Hemingway as our drama piece. The comedy story was something from Mark Twain. Finally, we'd read a horror story, Edgar Allan Poe's "The Black Cat." This was an effective bit of pedagogy each year, but turned into a controversy when one student was deeply disturbed by "The Black Cat" to the point that he literally cried in the classroom. I had to field a call from his Father, a missionary for a decade or so, and recently moved home to America to become a marriage counselor.
In our phone conversation, he proceeded to explain to me why this was entirely inappropriate and why I should remove Poe from my curriculum in the future. I explained to him one of the foundational ideologies of our particular Christian school was not to isolate our students from the world, but rather to train them to confront the world and its ideas Christianly. We don't eliminate "Lord of the Flies" from our curriculum; we analyze "Lord of the Flies" from a Christian viewpoint. When we looked at "The Black Cat," we looked at it in two ways. First, why was it so effective? Why did it cause distress in his son? What was Poe up to? In short, a literary analysis to make us better writers. Second, what does this story tell us about the sin nature? The narrator gouges a cat's eye out and then after it heals he hangs the cat; the cat may or may not come back to orchestrate the narrator's death. The narrator speaks:
"One morning, in cool blood, I slipped a noose about its neck and hung it to the limb of a tree; - hung it with the tears streaming from my eyes, and with the bitterest remorse at my heart; - hung it because I knew that it had loved me, and because I felt it had given me no reason of offence; - hung it because I knew that in so doing I was committing a sin - a deadly sin that would so jeopardize my immortal soul as to place it - if such a thing were possible - even beyond the reach of the infinite mercy of the Most Merciful and Most Terrible God."
I posited we can learn a lot of what not do to by studying such things. Reading stories and reports of sin is not sin itself. Conceding Poe's brilliance, this child's Father felt that Poe's story was evil, and that anyone whose mind could conceive such a tale must have had demonic influence. His point was brilliance wasn't the issue: it only made Satan's work that much more effective. I'll concede that Poe was a disturbed individual, beyond that I shall not go. Further, he felt that a Christian school should know better and not have such curriculum. Even further, he declared my actions to be sinful in choosing to subject my students, and his son, to that story; I, in his view, was in error.
I am absolutely fine with differences of opinion, but condescension I do not take kindly to. When he told me he'd like to read something from the Bible to me, I fought to hold my tongue. He read to me vast passages from Paul, specifically Philippians 4:8, which states, "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things" (NASB). This told me two things. First, he wasn't simply wanting to be heard; he wanted to teach me something, to convict me. Second, he had prepared for our conversation. He felt "The Black Cat" did not pass the Phil. 4:8 test, and therefore was not God-honoring, and therefore should not be taught in a Christian school.
I let him give his spiel, then I made sure he was aware that I only taught the one English class to help scheduling and that my primary job is the Bible teacher. I let him know I have a Masters of Divinity from Beeson Divinity School, am an ordained Baptist minister, and that I'd like to refer him to a passage of Scripture.
I reminded him of the closing chapters of Judges, where we have recorded an atrocious story. A Levite concubine is gang-raped to death by a group of Benjaminites. When her husband finds her the next morning, he cuts her into twelve pieces and sends them to the heads of the twelve tribes so that the truth will be known. The Hebrews were so rightly enraged that civil war broke out, all the tribes against Benjamin. Benjamin was nearly obliterated. It is here in 17:6 and 25:2 we read one of the saddest statements in the Bible, the bookends of the entire pericope: "In those days there was no king in Israel; every man did what was right in his own eyes." This section bridges the time of Judges to the last judge, Samuel, who anoints the first king, Saul. This report, equating unrestrained sin with the lack of a restraining king, is the justification for getting a king.
In short, it's the reporting of atrocious sin. Why? So that we can be disturbed? So that we can "go and do likewise?" No, it's so we can learn. The Bible is the most frank ancient book. It does not gloss over evil; it reports it while not condoning it. I asked him how he handles such a passage as a minister or as Father. Does he avoid it? Choose not to teach it? Ignore it? Does he have a "canon within the canon?" Is reading about gang-rape and murder covered in "whatever is lovely...?" Maybe not. Is it given us by the Spirit and therefore edifying? Absolutely.
I don't have children so I didn't presume to tell him how to raise his, but I'm not a fool. If you, in an attempt to preserve your child's innocence, do not let him encounter the world and try to think critically, your child is naive and unprepared. This Father was, in my opinion, overly sheltering his children. His two junior high students were two of the most "sensitive" students I ever taught. They were two of the most respectful and most well behaved (I wish more were like them) but they couldn't critically engage tough material outside the Bible.
I think there are two ways to think about these issues. One is to "keep the world at bay" by prohibiting participation in certain activities. I would consider this legalistic. The other is to "be in the world but not of it" and engage the world in a dialog, even though this exposes one to much sin. He'd probably consider this antinomian.
Call it presumption, but I believe Jesus would side with me. Recently, I went with two friends to the Juke Joint Festival in Clarksdale, MS, a blues festival. There was poverty, beer, barbecue, and blues. I liked the barbecue and blues. I was surrounded by many people half-drunk or better. Did this make me unholy or sinful for being there in that environment? I say no; he'd probably say yes. I can't help but think that in the many places Jesus went, and with as many prostitutes and sinners He was around, He probably saw some harsh things. Was Jesus sinful or tarnished in any way?
The Christian cannot be in this world and not experience it's villainy. The question is whether we hide or engage. I say engage. The challenge is engaging the world and remaining unstained by the world, for this is true religion.
In our phone conversation, he proceeded to explain to me why this was entirely inappropriate and why I should remove Poe from my curriculum in the future. I explained to him one of the foundational ideologies of our particular Christian school was not to isolate our students from the world, but rather to train them to confront the world and its ideas Christianly. We don't eliminate "Lord of the Flies" from our curriculum; we analyze "Lord of the Flies" from a Christian viewpoint. When we looked at "The Black Cat," we looked at it in two ways. First, why was it so effective? Why did it cause distress in his son? What was Poe up to? In short, a literary analysis to make us better writers. Second, what does this story tell us about the sin nature? The narrator gouges a cat's eye out and then after it heals he hangs the cat; the cat may or may not come back to orchestrate the narrator's death. The narrator speaks:
"One morning, in cool blood, I slipped a noose about its neck and hung it to the limb of a tree; - hung it with the tears streaming from my eyes, and with the bitterest remorse at my heart; - hung it because I knew that it had loved me, and because I felt it had given me no reason of offence; - hung it because I knew that in so doing I was committing a sin - a deadly sin that would so jeopardize my immortal soul as to place it - if such a thing were possible - even beyond the reach of the infinite mercy of the Most Merciful and Most Terrible God."
I posited we can learn a lot of what not do to by studying such things. Reading stories and reports of sin is not sin itself. Conceding Poe's brilliance, this child's Father felt that Poe's story was evil, and that anyone whose mind could conceive such a tale must have had demonic influence. His point was brilliance wasn't the issue: it only made Satan's work that much more effective. I'll concede that Poe was a disturbed individual, beyond that I shall not go. Further, he felt that a Christian school should know better and not have such curriculum. Even further, he declared my actions to be sinful in choosing to subject my students, and his son, to that story; I, in his view, was in error.
I am absolutely fine with differences of opinion, but condescension I do not take kindly to. When he told me he'd like to read something from the Bible to me, I fought to hold my tongue. He read to me vast passages from Paul, specifically Philippians 4:8, which states, "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things" (NASB). This told me two things. First, he wasn't simply wanting to be heard; he wanted to teach me something, to convict me. Second, he had prepared for our conversation. He felt "The Black Cat" did not pass the Phil. 4:8 test, and therefore was not God-honoring, and therefore should not be taught in a Christian school.
I let him give his spiel, then I made sure he was aware that I only taught the one English class to help scheduling and that my primary job is the Bible teacher. I let him know I have a Masters of Divinity from Beeson Divinity School, am an ordained Baptist minister, and that I'd like to refer him to a passage of Scripture.
I reminded him of the closing chapters of Judges, where we have recorded an atrocious story. A Levite concubine is gang-raped to death by a group of Benjaminites. When her husband finds her the next morning, he cuts her into twelve pieces and sends them to the heads of the twelve tribes so that the truth will be known. The Hebrews were so rightly enraged that civil war broke out, all the tribes against Benjamin. Benjamin was nearly obliterated. It is here in 17:6 and 25:2 we read one of the saddest statements in the Bible, the bookends of the entire pericope: "In those days there was no king in Israel; every man did what was right in his own eyes." This section bridges the time of Judges to the last judge, Samuel, who anoints the first king, Saul. This report, equating unrestrained sin with the lack of a restraining king, is the justification for getting a king.
In short, it's the reporting of atrocious sin. Why? So that we can be disturbed? So that we can "go and do likewise?" No, it's so we can learn. The Bible is the most frank ancient book. It does not gloss over evil; it reports it while not condoning it. I asked him how he handles such a passage as a minister or as Father. Does he avoid it? Choose not to teach it? Ignore it? Does he have a "canon within the canon?" Is reading about gang-rape and murder covered in "whatever is lovely...?" Maybe not. Is it given us by the Spirit and therefore edifying? Absolutely.
I don't have children so I didn't presume to tell him how to raise his, but I'm not a fool. If you, in an attempt to preserve your child's innocence, do not let him encounter the world and try to think critically, your child is naive and unprepared. This Father was, in my opinion, overly sheltering his children. His two junior high students were two of the most "sensitive" students I ever taught. They were two of the most respectful and most well behaved (I wish more were like them) but they couldn't critically engage tough material outside the Bible.
I think there are two ways to think about these issues. One is to "keep the world at bay" by prohibiting participation in certain activities. I would consider this legalistic. The other is to "be in the world but not of it" and engage the world in a dialog, even though this exposes one to much sin. He'd probably consider this antinomian.
Call it presumption, but I believe Jesus would side with me. Recently, I went with two friends to the Juke Joint Festival in Clarksdale, MS, a blues festival. There was poverty, beer, barbecue, and blues. I liked the barbecue and blues. I was surrounded by many people half-drunk or better. Did this make me unholy or sinful for being there in that environment? I say no; he'd probably say yes. I can't help but think that in the many places Jesus went, and with as many prostitutes and sinners He was around, He probably saw some harsh things. Was Jesus sinful or tarnished in any way?
The Christian cannot be in this world and not experience it's villainy. The question is whether we hide or engage. I say engage. The challenge is engaging the world and remaining unstained by the world, for this is true religion.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Loosen My Lips
I apologize if I offend, but the current environment of "praise and worship music" really annoys me. I feel the majority of it is canned, planned, and not actually very expressive of the human spirit. In short, modern worship music is not very worshipful. Why? Because "worship" has become a musical style, not a lifestyle. It's common now to hear someone say something similar to, "I like rock, rap, worship, country, and gospel, but not classical." To my ears, almost all worship music played on the radio today, or in most churches for that matter, is carbon-copy-cliche. We've learned a musical vernacular that lets us know, "Oh, now is the part where I stand up and raise my hands." I'm pro-standing-up-and-raising-holy-hands. However, I don't see much true worship in music anymore. I see very little actual expression of self - very little of "giving self over" in not only raising holy hands, but dancing. Why not? I have a theory, a hypothesis, and an example.
My theory is that the majority of praise and worship music today is very limited thematically. Faith, grace, praise, worship, and God's love - that's about it. I rarely hear songs of lament, anger, or questioning, though much of the Bible deals with it. If there is a song of that nature, it's likely an older song modernized, like It Is Well. I don't know about you, but many times on Sunday morning, I need to express anger, rage, frustration, sadness, or any other emotion that is common to everyone else in the congregation, yet those emotions are not acceptable musical emotions in church! Imagine, what would it be like to go to a Sunday morning service and everyone join in a very loud, electric, kinetic lament? Besides being simultaneously cathartic and revolutionary, it would be one of the most soul-ministering things in a church in a long time (therefore, it'll likely never happen; if it was attempted, no one would actually participate). But no, churches feel they must be cheery and chirpy, even maniacally so. So, we put on our brave, happy face.
My hypothesis is that most true corporate worship happens not in the church, but at rock concerts - some Christian, and some not. The dynamic of a loud rock concert is much more liberating and freeing than almost any Sunday morning worship service anyway. Why? There's no pretense. One can dance or clap or sing along, or not, at his own volition. You will find at a good rock concert by a good band people singing as loud as they can. You will not find that at church. You will find at a good rock concert much that equates to David dancing before the ark. You will rarely find that kind of freedom and abandon before God in a church. Now, I'm pro-church; I'm an ordained Baptist minister. I'm also pro freedom and abandon in the musical aspect of worship. I fear that while the church is the place to be Spiritually fed because it's there you find the Spirit of God and His Word, it's also one of the most confining in terms of spiritual expression. As Bono once said in an interview, "The idea of turning your music into a tool for evangelism is missing the point. Music is the language of the spirit anyway." I would apply that to all Christian life, not just evangelism. Using music as a "tool of worship by doing it 'this way'" misses the point.
There are many artists that are great at inspiring this level of cathartic release: King's X, Neil Young & Crazy Horse, Wilco, At the Drive-In/The Mars Volta, and Twothirtyeight come to mind, and of course U2. My example is this worship song, played not at a church, but at Red Rocks in Colorado. The greatest Christian artist of all time, U2, performs Gloria with an entire crowd worshiping along. Whether or not most of the crowd understands what they're saying is not the point here. The point is, they've abandoned their fear of looking funny to dance before the ark. (It doesn't hurt that U2 are unarguably one of the five best bands ever).
Three things to note while watching: First, they are all fantastic musicians. They "play skillfully on the harp before the LORD" (Psalm 33:3; Isaiah 23:16). Second, it doesn't sound like a praise and worship song is supposed to sound. Why? Because U2 doesn't play the rules of "praise and worship" as a style or genre. Remember, Bono says trying to make something a praise song misses the point. A person alive in Christ should just write songs, and suddenly, it's a unique praise song, not one that conforms to any sort of formula. And third, notice that the communal, colossal throb of a huge number of people in sync, pouring themselves out with "crashing cymbals" is much closer to the tribal, temple worship of ancient Israel than anything the Church does today. They banged on things to get God's attention back then. Today, we're afraid of losing our hearing. Let us pray with Bono in Gloria, "Oh Lord, loosen my lips."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRYKs8AgQVA
Here are the lyrics:
I try to sing this song,
...I try to stand up but I can't find my feet
I try, I try to speak up but only in You I'm complete
Gloria...in te domine
Gloria...exultate
Gloria...Gloria
Oh Lord, loosen my lips!
I try to sing this song,
I...I try to get in but I can't find the door
The door is open, You're standing there, You let me in
Gloria...in te domine
Gloria...exultate
Oh Lord, if I had anything
Anything at all I'd give it to You
I'd give it to You
Gloria...Gloria...
My theory is that the majority of praise and worship music today is very limited thematically. Faith, grace, praise, worship, and God's love - that's about it. I rarely hear songs of lament, anger, or questioning, though much of the Bible deals with it. If there is a song of that nature, it's likely an older song modernized, like It Is Well. I don't know about you, but many times on Sunday morning, I need to express anger, rage, frustration, sadness, or any other emotion that is common to everyone else in the congregation, yet those emotions are not acceptable musical emotions in church! Imagine, what would it be like to go to a Sunday morning service and everyone join in a very loud, electric, kinetic lament? Besides being simultaneously cathartic and revolutionary, it would be one of the most soul-ministering things in a church in a long time (therefore, it'll likely never happen; if it was attempted, no one would actually participate). But no, churches feel they must be cheery and chirpy, even maniacally so. So, we put on our brave, happy face.
My hypothesis is that most true corporate worship happens not in the church, but at rock concerts - some Christian, and some not. The dynamic of a loud rock concert is much more liberating and freeing than almost any Sunday morning worship service anyway. Why? There's no pretense. One can dance or clap or sing along, or not, at his own volition. You will find at a good rock concert by a good band people singing as loud as they can. You will not find that at church. You will find at a good rock concert much that equates to David dancing before the ark. You will rarely find that kind of freedom and abandon before God in a church. Now, I'm pro-church; I'm an ordained Baptist minister. I'm also pro freedom and abandon in the musical aspect of worship. I fear that while the church is the place to be Spiritually fed because it's there you find the Spirit of God and His Word, it's also one of the most confining in terms of spiritual expression. As Bono once said in an interview, "The idea of turning your music into a tool for evangelism is missing the point. Music is the language of the spirit anyway." I would apply that to all Christian life, not just evangelism. Using music as a "tool of worship by doing it 'this way'" misses the point.
There are many artists that are great at inspiring this level of cathartic release: King's X, Neil Young & Crazy Horse, Wilco, At the Drive-In/The Mars Volta, and Twothirtyeight come to mind, and of course U2. My example is this worship song, played not at a church, but at Red Rocks in Colorado. The greatest Christian artist of all time, U2, performs Gloria with an entire crowd worshiping along. Whether or not most of the crowd understands what they're saying is not the point here. The point is, they've abandoned their fear of looking funny to dance before the ark. (It doesn't hurt that U2 are unarguably one of the five best bands ever).
Three things to note while watching: First, they are all fantastic musicians. They "play skillfully on the harp before the LORD" (Psalm 33:3; Isaiah 23:16). Second, it doesn't sound like a praise and worship song is supposed to sound. Why? Because U2 doesn't play the rules of "praise and worship" as a style or genre. Remember, Bono says trying to make something a praise song misses the point. A person alive in Christ should just write songs, and suddenly, it's a unique praise song, not one that conforms to any sort of formula. And third, notice that the communal, colossal throb of a huge number of people in sync, pouring themselves out with "crashing cymbals" is much closer to the tribal, temple worship of ancient Israel than anything the Church does today. They banged on things to get God's attention back then. Today, we're afraid of losing our hearing. Let us pray with Bono in Gloria, "Oh Lord, loosen my lips."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRYKs8AgQVA
Here are the lyrics:
I try to sing this song,
...I try to stand up but I can't find my feet
I try, I try to speak up but only in You I'm complete
Gloria...in te domine
Gloria...exultate
Gloria...Gloria
Oh Lord, loosen my lips!
I try to sing this song,
I...I try to get in but I can't find the door
The door is open, You're standing there, You let me in
Gloria...in te domine
Gloria...exultate
Oh Lord, if I had anything
Anything at all I'd give it to You
I'd give it to You
Gloria...Gloria...
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Acedia, Ennui, Hope, Grace
The struggle of my life is acedia. It's manifested itself in the purest definition I've seen: The Oxford Concise Dictionary of the Christian Church defines acedia as "a state of restlessness and inability either to work or to pray." In "Acedia, Bane of Solitaries," we read that acedia is "a state of listlessness or torpor, of not caring or not being concerned with one's position or condition in the world. It can lead to a state of being unable to perform one's duties in life. Its spiritual overtones make it related to but distinct from depression. Acedia was originally noted as a problem among monks and other ascetics who maintained a solitary life." Yet as Kathleen Norris notes, acedia is not limited to monastics, by a mile!
Oh, we Americans, so busy with business that we can't realize how bored and dissatisfied we are. I'm writing this blog, my first, because it's 12:22 pm on Saturday, and I have laundery, a date to prepare for, a workout to get to, papers to grade, jobs to hunt for, Bible reading to complete, chores to do, prayers to pray, a Sunday School lesson to prepare, and a plethora of pretense to pretend to care about. What have I done in the four hours I've been awake? Nothing. I took a shower, watched two episodes of Seinfeld, and I've got a pizza in the oven. And I have the absolute hardest time caring one way or the other.
Christ said each day has enough trouble of its own. But what to do when today's trouble is so routinely boring? The breathing in and breathing out of everyday life is so often so tedious to you and me it's all we can do breath in and breath out. Some people need to stop and smell the roses. Some people need to stop smelling the roses and get to work. I can't decide which category I fall in.
Who will save me from this body of death? I'm so glad for hope and grace. I desparately look forward to the salvation that's to come. I've been saved and am being saved, yet the most precious truth to me is that I will be saved. Hope and grace are what enable me to go about the tedium of so much of life. This world has robbed so many of us of wonder and joy; we are victims of ennui and sinners of the sin of acedia, but we have hope and grace in the promise of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, his merciful Father, and his empowering Spirit.
Come quickly Lord Jesus, come.
Oh, we Americans, so busy with business that we can't realize how bored and dissatisfied we are. I'm writing this blog, my first, because it's 12:22 pm on Saturday, and I have laundery, a date to prepare for, a workout to get to, papers to grade, jobs to hunt for, Bible reading to complete, chores to do, prayers to pray, a Sunday School lesson to prepare, and a plethora of pretense to pretend to care about. What have I done in the four hours I've been awake? Nothing. I took a shower, watched two episodes of Seinfeld, and I've got a pizza in the oven. And I have the absolute hardest time caring one way or the other.
Christ said each day has enough trouble of its own. But what to do when today's trouble is so routinely boring? The breathing in and breathing out of everyday life is so often so tedious to you and me it's all we can do breath in and breath out. Some people need to stop and smell the roses. Some people need to stop smelling the roses and get to work. I can't decide which category I fall in.
Who will save me from this body of death? I'm so glad for hope and grace. I desparately look forward to the salvation that's to come. I've been saved and am being saved, yet the most precious truth to me is that I will be saved. Hope and grace are what enable me to go about the tedium of so much of life. This world has robbed so many of us of wonder and joy; we are victims of ennui and sinners of the sin of acedia, but we have hope and grace in the promise of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, his merciful Father, and his empowering Spirit.
Come quickly Lord Jesus, come.
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