Acedia, Ennui, Hope, Grace

The struggle of my life is acedia. It's manifested itself in the purest definition I've seen: The Oxford Concise Dictionary of the Christian Church defines acedia as "a state of restlessness and inability either to work or to pray." In "Acedia, Bane of Solitaries," we read that acedia is "a state of listlessness or torpor, of not caring or not being concerned with one's position or condition in the world. It can lead to a state of being unable to perform one's duties in life. Its spiritual overtones make it related to but distinct from depression. Acedia was originally noted as a problem among monks and other ascetics who maintained a solitary life." Yet as Kathleen Norris notes, acedia is not limited to monastics, by a mile!

Oh, we Americans, so busy with business that we can't realize how bored and dissatisfied we are. I'm writing this blog, my first, because it's 12:22 pm on Saturday, and I have laundery, a date to prepare for, a workout to get to, papers to grade, jobs to hunt for, Bible reading to complete, chores to do, prayers to pray, a Sunday School lesson to prepare, and a plethora of pretense to pretend to care about. What have I done in the four hours I've been awake? Nothing. I took a shower, watched two episodes of Seinfeld, and I've got a pizza in the oven. And I have the absolute hardest time caring one way or the other.

Christ said each day has enough trouble of its own. But what to do when today's trouble is so routinely boring? The breathing in and breathing out of everyday life is so often so tedious to you and me it's all we can do breath in and breath out. Some people need to stop and smell the roses. Some people need to stop smelling the roses and get to work. I can't decide which category I fall in.

Who will save me from this body of death? I'm so glad for hope and grace. I desparately look forward to the salvation that's to come. I've been saved and am being saved, yet the most precious truth to me is that I will be saved. Hope and grace are what enable me to go about the tedium of so much of life. This world has robbed so many of us of wonder and joy; we are victims of ennui and sinners of the sin of acedia, but we have hope and grace in the promise of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, his merciful Father, and his empowering Spirit.

Come quickly Lord Jesus, come.